Figuring stuff out 2016-11-14

So this is the third time I've had you redo this video. You did the first time I was due to technical difficulties. And I must understand the second time was due to the fact that, well I mispronounced your misstead a couple words. But anyway, if you saw my last video, the one where I talked about, the one I deleted I deleted it for good reason because a number of people were trying to pin me against my friends on discord by trolling and saying a whole bunch of shit. And someone showed me the rest of the conversation that this court had about me when I had left. And they have a very right to be pissed. However, this is what I believe happened. The sex doll they got me. They were doing it because they were trying to make me feel better. Better about my shitty circumstances. The circumstances right now. And it worked except here's what happened. The sex doll they ordered, the sex doll that my fans ordered, was poorly made. And on top of that, shipping did a horrible job handling it. That by the time I got my sex doll, there were little surface marks on the doll, like on the inside of the leg and shit, that were missing bits of silicone. The posable skeleton was poking through the fingers. There were fingernails missing off the doll's hands. You know what I'm saying? And the combination of the doll being made poorly, the combination of that plus the way shipping and handling the doll and the packaging and then people saying a whole bunch of shit about discord that wasn't true. It legitimately made me think that discord was trying to troll me. And for that I apologize. I know it doesn't mean much at this point because after everything had happened, I could have handled that situation a lot better. But because the doll was poorly made, normally we have a sex doll one to two years of use. It's going to have somewhere in here. It's going to need some TLC. I get that. But I used the doll a whole night and then some in the morning. And that's why I noticed the vagina starting to tear. It just led me to believe that maybe I should have gone to sleep for the vagina before actually using it. And I could have kept the doll and fixed it all up and everything and not broken it. But the doll in question was poorly made, I don't know which company made it. But it's such a sex doll as YouTube. If you're ordering anything online, whether you're getting somebody a gift or ordering the product for yourself, when you're trusting somebody with the service and you're paying them money for that service, you would expect them to be good on their word. You know, this should be no different if you bought an electric guitar online and the minute you got it, you try to plug it into your amp and the amp jack didn't work. You'd either take it to a guitar shop or you'd send it back to the company you got it from and we'd like look, this is bullshit. And because I have assburgers and I struggle with social situations, people will often take advantage of that fact and they use that to fuck with me on social media and it ain't right. I was trying to see if I could work on dual guitar for garage band, but then garage band was giving me technical difficulties. And then I had a string on my guitar stamp. I was able to replace it obviously at the moment, which is good. But you know, after I'd delete that video that I made last night, because I thought Discord was trolling me, which given the circumstances of what happened and the circumstances being again, the doll was poorly made, the shipping didn't handle it very nicely and people were saying a lot of shit about Discord. The combination of those three things alone and then the doll breaking while I was using it, like the terror starting to develop and shit. You know what I'm saying? I appreciate the fact that my fans are trying to make me happy and in hindsight I wish they would have handled that situation a lot better. I could have very easily stashed the doll on my closet until it got fixed. You know, but I didn't think that through. The combination of negative emotions I was feeling when the whole thing happened, you know what I'm saying, you too. It made me do some stupid things. And I feel really stupid for actually believing the crap people are trying to say about the other people on Discord. And the fact of the matter is, you know, all of them are very disappointed in me right now and as I'm eye, you know. But a lot of them still watch my videos and follow me on YouTube, which says something, you know. And if I would have mentioned it before the doll was even purchased, I think this whole thing would have been avoided completely. But I kind of lost interest in the sex doll for the moment being just because, you know, one, I didn't have the money for it. And two, I had other things on, just put my money on. And I kind of felt like that if I got a sex doll, it would hurt my chances even more if eating an actual girlfriend. And I'm young enough now that I got plenty of time in my life that even though I don't believe it and even though I talk a lot of mad shit, people have been saying they're all fine in the right girl someday and I personally don't believe it. I personally believe I'll be alone the rest of my life. I've just kind of come to accept that, you know. That's just, that stems from having no confidence in myself. No, that stems from having no confidence in myself. So, wake it up, erm. And the last three times I had to remake this video, they were all way too fucking long and drawing out. And we do the video for the third or fourth time, keep it short, sweet, and to the point. Now another thing I want to talk about is I had an interview with Tommy Talks that I thought went rather well. I'd never seen Tommy laugh that hard in my life. So I made someone laugh that felt kind of good. And another thing, not even five minutes after I destroyed my sex doll, one of my friends was going through suicidal depression and then I was able to talk him out of it. Him and his wife were having some issues and I was able to convince him that he needs to work it out with his wife. And which is good that him and his wife were working it out because they're having a foul or a wedding vow. My buddy and his wife were having a wedding vow, a renewal and Vegas. And they're going to take several months to save up for it. And my buddy says, hey man, my friend says I want you to be my best man for that. Really can't pass that up, you know what I'm saying. So, not like I'd want to. Now, the only time that I couldn't attend my homey's wedding vow, a new wedding vow renewal for him and his wife is if say I had a job and I was working and I couldn't get the time off kind of thing. But with a lot of people losing their jobs around town, a whole lot of places are hiring because people are having a hard time staying open and on top of that, they're just trying to keep what little employment they have. That's kind of the state of the economy and Casper right now and it fucking sucks. You know what I'm saying? I haven't stayed budget cuts, doesn't help either. But I'm not here to talk about Casper shitty economy here in job market right now. I'm going to fall out and say I'm sorry for the way I overreacted to that, those shitty circumstances and of course for believing those trolls. I know it's in my discord peeps right now who still follow me on YouTube. Maybe my apology doesn't mean much now. You know, I know vapor doesn't believe me when I say I want to pay him back at $1,000 and I stop the point. I know I stop the point. But people get screwed over ordering stuff online all the goddamn time. It's unfortunate when people order stuff online and they get the package that they ordered and it's not right. You know, I had a very similar experience when I ordered a bicycle engine kit from a company online. When the kit got to my doorstep, it was missing parts that the YouTube video said it was supposed to include not only that, but during the breaking period, when half the gas take ran out, the engine just quit working. It wouldn't turn over. And then I over mixed the fuel and eventually under mixed it and the piston just blew. I blew the piston on my bicycle engine kit and that was the end of the Beach Cruiser saga right there. You know, the motorized Beach Cruiser saga. I should say whatever the fuck you want to call it now. Alright, after I did the Tommy Talks interview, I got to work planning out this video right here and then I had technical difficulties with the first one and that one got deleted. The second one I missed pronounced a lot of my words just said the wrong thing and said something else to that. It didn't mean to say. Got my words twisted up and all that usual bullshit. So this third one was a bit better at short sweet to the point. The fact that I have homies and fans that are still willing to hang out with me and support me on YouTube, even though I did this shit, means a lot to me. Like I'll never forget that. Even in my darkest hour in life, I'll never forget that. There are people who genuinely care about me on social media. There are people out there who care about me and there are people who pretend to care about me just to fuck with me. And then there are people who are just blatantly showing me because not even 58 minutes after I did the interview with Tommy and C2010, some dick fuck, still one of my pictures offline made some fake ass YouTube account and commented on the interview. I'm not in this interview. This is a bunch of bullshit. And I immediately responded to that comment with, you're not the real king of a JFS, I am. And then after I did that, I got that person's account terminated. I don't know why people got enough fuck with me so hard, but after what I did, I kind of deserve it to be honest with you. So yeah. I was just kind of pissed off from the doll broke before I destroyed it completely that my fans were sold a shitty made sex doll and that UPS did a horrible job handling it. So about time I got the doll at the skeleton was poking through the hand, the fingers in the hand and that nails were missing from the doll's hand and shit like that. You know, and there were chunks of silicone. At a distance it looked good, but like you got up close, you could see little little things here and there which were easy to overlook. But then when, excuse me, when the vagina itself tore on the sex doll instead of me just getting a sleeve and then I had people telling me that, oh blah, blah, blah, this was a bunch of trolls, blah, blah, blah. And me believing that is what led me to do what I did. But then after I did it, excuse me, I realized, wait a second. How could these people be trolls that they said you stuff like this? You know, and then hit me and then after realizing, oh fuck, I feel like a huge dick right now, kind of thing. Like I don't know how to come back from something like this. You know, this whole incident has made me look like a huge dick and it also might give the wrong impression of me on YouTube. You know, this whole situation can generate a lot of hate for me. So yeah. Or after I came clean with my story on Facebook, this one chick contacted me on Facebook. I used to go to high school with her and she was all like, well I'm going to unfollow you now. That's because she generally showed me sympathy when she believed the story that I had told her on Facebook along with everybody else. That's why she unfollowed me. And my comment response to her was, that's okay if you want to unfollow me, I got plenty of hot chicks that follow me on Facebook, you just want less. And she thumbs up the comment and she responded to that comment with, right, because that's why you have a girlfriend and good luck with your life. And now what aren't you respond with liking the comments I responded to your comment with. I was so typical, you good luck with your life, smiley face. But before I had a chance to respond to that comment, she already unfollowed me from Facebook. And rather than not, she unfroended me, I don't know. But even though she acted like that, I'm still going to support her art page. So if you can check out Kylie Michelle Bennett's art page on Facebook, that would be super cool. Yeah. And I can understand why she acted the way she did, because like a lot of people, she was pissed that she was kind of like you. But the embarrassment of breaking the sex doll by excessively fucking it too much. And the anger that my fans got sold and she passed made sex doll. And then on top of that fucking pissed off because shipping and handling did a absolute shit job of handling the package because there was a hole in the bottom of the fucking box. I mean, it wasn't very big, but you could definitely see some cardboard was missing from the layers of the box. And it's like, what's kind of shitty. And I don't know where exactly the order the doll from. If they ordered, if Discord ordered the doll from the same website I advertised on my YouTube, then whoever made that doll needs to get their shit together because that's a bit good businesses ruined themselves. It's just certain people you don't hire for jobs, YouTube. If you hire somebody to make sex dolls for your company and they do a shitty job putting them together and then on top of that they're shipping handles the package roughly. Come on. That's the equivalent of hiring a necrophiliac to work at a mortgage. You just don't do that. You just don't do that. And that's a gross analogy to make, but that's my point, you know what I'm saying. And you know, in hindsight I'm like, it probably could have been fixed, but it would have been a huge hassle and I would have felt bad for it out of the way. And in hindsight, if I would just come clean and said what I said in this video right here, people would have been like, what no way. What's the proof, bro? And then I could have showed in the proof and taken pictures of the troubles I was having with my phone and then posted to discord people who have seen it and I wasn't lying. But making up some wild story about my sex dog getting stolen, that didn't do me any good. All it was piss off and just supporting her to people that care about me. And then believing the trolls, when they were trying to convince me that the people who care about me were trolls, that's some fuckery right there. That was just the cherry on top of the bullshit cake. So it started with my fans getting sold a shitty sex dog to try to make me happy, wish it did. You know, it was greatly appreciated. But the combination of emotions I was feeling when the whole thing snowballed the way it did. I overreacted, okay? And two things. One, I wish I would have distorted the way I did. And two, I wish I would have come clean about it the right, like what happened to me. What happened originally? Like I said in this video, not me. I wish I wouldn't have made up some elaborate story. You know what I'm saying? If I would have told the truth, like it happened to really, if I would have told the truth originally, like it happened, people would have been, people would have been a bit more sympathetic with me. But anyway, yeah, like I said, I had an interview of Tommy, NCT 2010 on Tommy Talks and it was a good interview. But not even 58 minutes after the interview went live on YouTube. I had some other fucker pretending to be me on YouTube. And I've been really confirmed that that wasn't the real King Coke with JFS on YouTube. And I reported that person's account for impersonation and let YouTube deal with it. Here's the problem right now, other than what happened. YouTube now no longer allows individual YouTubers to block each other. So if you got some relentless dickhead harassing you repeatedly on YouTube, all you can do is hide their comments. You can't really delete their comments and you can't really block people on YouTube. But YouTube's also getting rid of the like button. Did you know this? YouTube's also getting rid of the like button. So you can't downvote every, all you can do is not like the video or like the video. YouTube is taking away the option. Okay, YouTube is taking away the option to downvote videos. That's there also taking away the option to block people from your YouTube and actually full on delete comments from your channel and shit. And it's like they're trying to make it better and ways they are making it better. But what I'm hearing from fellow YouTubers, what's going on with the website. I have to scratch my head people and I'm going okay, that's cool. You're getting rid of the downvote button for videos. All people can do is choose to like the video or not choose to like the video. That means the YouTuber is not going to inquire, is not going to be forced to see a bunch of dislikes on the video. All they're going to be forced to see his comments. And YouTube is not going to take away the commenting system because that would piss people off so much. They would be like, oh, we're freedom of speech or right to express ourselves and blah, blah, blah, blah. And if YouTube responded with, well, the reason why we're taking away the comments section is because people are being mean to each other. People respond with, yeah, well, not everybody's mean, not everybody's mean to each other on YouTube. Some people genuinely show support on other people's channels and the edges. No. And now I still have this dope ass microphone that my fans sent me. I keep it safe underneath Sean's ass. My dummy Sean up on the, and the reason why I have it up on the shelf up here is so I don't get cigarette ash on it with it sitting on my desk in front of me. I primarily use that microphone for recording Garageband because the microphones I have on my cameras right now, both the plug in one and the built in one are shit for recording music on Garageband. But when I plug in the microphone and during Garageband on and how Garageband sets to using that microphone, the sound quality for that music sounds much better. However, if I'm recording a video while that microphone is plugged in and if that microphone gets unplugged, the video will stop. No joke. I could start a video and plug the microphone in and the video keeps playing. No problems. But if the microphone becomes unplugged, the video automatically stops. Isn't that weird? Huh. That's what happened to me the second time around when I recorded this video. And then when I thought it was deleted, I stopped recording the third attempt at this video. And then that's when the last version appeared. Like some kind of weird glitch, you know, and I deleted both copies of this video of the same video basically and basically just make it shorter so we are into the point. Well, after I deleted last half of the video where I went off, I'm going to drunk and rant about random shit, including, you know, trusty issues with people on the internet and shit. That video hurt a lot of people on Discord. Like that made the situation even worse, you know. And the only way I could justify that and I'm not justifying it in any way, but the only way I could explain myself on that one was that I genuinely believe the crap people were saying about friends of mine on the internet, you know. And the combination of all those shitty circumstances just made for a really, really bad couple of days and immediately so I overreacted and then emitting to that kind of thing, you know, and it doesn't justify my actions at all. It really doesn't. This right here is a can crush. It's all my homies, all my fans, all my friends on Discord. All right, those of you who are still disappointed in me, if those of you who are still disappointed in me, it might not mean much, but it's an effort at least. You know, and I don't always make the smartest decisions you two, but you know, none of us do. No one's perfect and that's the thing of it. But when I royally fucked up the way I did, due to the snowball effect of the three or four things that happened that caused this event to happen, the sex doll that sent me was poorly made. The second thing, the shipping for the doll was poorly made. The doll in the packaging was poorly handled. The third thing, when I got the doll, it was in some rough shape. Like the nails were missing from the hands and there were little bits of silicone missing from various sections on the body. It wasn't know where you would, it was know where you would immediately notice, but it was still there. Overall, this is the doll did look good, but when I tried to use it, it practically did tear on me after using it for like one whole night plus a morning. That plus what the trolls were saying about friends of mine on Discord. And you know they're friends because even after I destroyed the sex doll, some of them even though they're really disappointed in me, the majority of them, all of them, if not, you know, all of them who are disappointed in me right now, even though they're really disappointed in me right now, they still watch my videos, you know. I know I have two fans right there, is when I fuck up because of some shame mistakes that were made on different people's parts, you know. And I'd given up on the idea of a sex doll, like I realized I'm broke a shit right now. I think to myself, you know, I can't get girlfriend unless I get a job, and when I was struggling to get a job, you know, that kind of thing, back and forth with that. And my fans were sensing that, and they're like, we want to make them feel better about his circumstances, you know. So they're trying to send me a little bit of companionship and fuck. Now there's a good chance that I could have just stuck the doll in my closet and kept her there until I got fully repaired. I didn't have to go ape shit and lose my temper because of these shitty circumstances and tear up the pieces. And I had to find some way by making a video with it because when I got the doll, YouTube, the first thing I popped into my head was good addressed me for it, put a wig on it, and do a ventriloquist act with it. It would have been funny and shit, but I missed out on an opportunity because of my overreacting and the shitty circumstances that happened. And I'm never going to get an opportunity like that again. So if that's something I want to do in the future, that's going to be 100% on me now. And honestly, I don't blame people for the way they're acting towards me right now. What ended up happening when someone sent me a video of what was said about me after I left Discord when they were confronting me about it? And yeah, they were really fucking pissed at me and disappointed. And honestly, YouTube, I can't blame them if I were to put myself in their shoes for one second. You know, what if I had sent a wand to a celebrity and they made a video just snapping it in half right in front of me and calling me a piece of shit for making it, you know, how would I feel? Honestly, YouTube, I feel like shit. And maybe you want to give up making wands. That's how it made me feel. And then that's exactly how I made them feel though. And just realizing that makes me feel even worse about the situation. Ugh. And what should have happened was as soon as the doll tearing a little bit in the vagina, I should have stopped fucking in the vagina, and specifically saved it just for anal and oral and a little bit of titty play. And that's it. And if I wanted to do anything else with it, I should have ordered parts to fix it up. You know what I'm saying? But at the same time, when you're trusting somebody to take your money and provide a service by selling you or selling you know an online product, and when that online product is poorly made and then handled shitty, and it has a shitty job being handled while it's being shipped. You know, that kind of thing happens all the goddamn time. And it's so frustrating YouTube, you have no idea. You know, for a lot of us out there who've been through similar stories, and this is the thing, the company or the website that I would have ordered the sex doll from if I would have had the money, literally warns people about this kind of thing, about ordering a sex doll to websites that don't take as good a care as other websites do when making them and handling them and stuff. And at the end of the fucking day, these people have heard of something nice from me. It was greatly appreciated. And on top of that, I was just sad that it broke, you know. The sad that it broke and I couldn't do anything immediately to fix it. You know, the comments should be sad, pissed off, and angry about it. It's a, aww, dude. And getting angry is one thing, but taking it all on something that could have been easily fixed. I made the same mistake with my guitar and I should have learned then that, you know, if something of yours breaks, don't break it even more. It can be fixed. And now, what do I have to show for it? I made out, okay, I made out to look like a huge ass on YouTube. And on top of that, I don't want to have a bang and sex doll. So, you know, that's what I get. And on top of that, people are pissed and disappointed in me. Okay, that's what I get for my actions and I gladly accept my consequences for my actions because I fucking deserve it. Okay, what else do you expect would happen? And on top of that, people on Discord think I have schizophrenia, which I don't, but given the actions I've distributed lately, what else would they think, you know? I'm cold, I'm closing my window, I don't care. I was keeping it open for a bit to air out the tobacco smell, but we should be good. It's fucking November. And I still try to air it out as much as possible, but it's not nearly as much airing out the tobacco smell, especially when it gets colder, but it's still done. I'm not trusting believe you to have it still done. I'm not going to put the hint, I just got a DMM. And I had all of... Earlier this morning and today to think about what I've set on YouTube in the last couple of hours. And that maybe before I go chewing people's heads off, that maybe I need to take time and analyze the situation at hand before I go off making accusations. I have somebody says, oh so-and-so, the troll blah blah blah, you shouldn't trust him. Look at who's saying it and look who they're talking about. And sincerely open my eyes for one split second and look. You know, and have whatever comments I have in me use it, okay? Because this is how people lose a lot of good friends on the internet. It's when trolls do everything in their power, and they don't even know subconsciously. There are a lot of people who fuck with me on the internet, like legitly. They don't care. People fucking with me on the internet. That gives them some sick entertainment in their lives. Yeah. So even to my haters, I provide some sort of entertainment. You know, I have trusty issues on the internet because I've been fucked with so much. But the thing if it is, is not everyone on the internet is out to troll me. And when I become troll paranoid, that leads me to do stupid things. Just as if anyone who cares about me, who cares about me on social media, gets paranoid about trolls, and they care too much, they can see somebody who also cares about me, and thinks, oh, they were trolled, blah, blah, blah. Which causes the other person that also cares about me to say, no, this person is a troll, and I just... But yeah, you know, the combination of the sex stuff being poorly made, and then me breaking it and being sad that I broke it, and angering me that I couldn't fix it. And embarrassed, you know, and pissed off for the fact that my fans got sold a shitty made sex doll and that UPS did a horrible job of handling it. And then on top of that, I had people trying to convince me that people on discord just trolls, and they managed to convince me for a couple hours. But then, you know, it kept eating me in the back of my mind. Like, wait a second. Hold on, hold on, hold on, stop. They're calling people on discord trolls, but they legitimately send you a doll, or at least try to, you know, it's not discord's fault that the company that made the doll did a shitty job. It's not discord's fault that I broke it because she'd been horrible, you know. It's just like when I broke my guitarist, man, honestly, like, when the guitar broke, it could've been easy enough to fix, but I got mad because it broke and it overreacted, you know. And the ventriloquist skit, because the first thing I see when I open up a sex doll was, oh god, the ventriloquist skit with this thing. That would be funny. And then my fans were trying to help, and it's just, I don't know. But I kind of gave them up on the idea of the sex doll anyway, because I realized they're more important things in my life, you know. It's not that the gesture wasn't appreciated because it believed me it was. That sex doll made me pretty happy, but they must have fallen apart on me. I'm just like, no, no, no, come on. Oh, why? Someone tries to do something nice to me, and I can't, I can't have that. And then if I wouldn't have overreacted, the situation wouldn't have been as bad, you know. People would have been looking at it like the sprite remix when it was sent to me like, oh shit, you know, kind of thing. But no, dude, I... Every time I overreacted a situation, and it always leads to me fucking up or making the situation worse, I always tick myself in the ass records for it. You know, and kicking myself in the ass records for it, kicking myself in the ass records for it, isn't gonna do me any fucking good at all, you know. If I am capable of doing it, I need to learn from my mistakes. Like totally 100%. You know. I'm sure my neighbor is probably gonna kick out of it like, the fuck is in the dumpsters? That a human body? Oh no, it's a broken sex doll. Ew, okay, whatever. And kind of move on with her day. Like, honey, you're not gonna believe what I saw when I was taking out the trash. What? I saw just mental sex doll. Oh, that's creepy and disgusting. I know, right? And if I were to came clean like I did on this video in the first place, things would be a lot different. You know, I could have reached out to the fans and said, hey look, my sex doll is broken and not barely used it. You know, we could have raised money to fix it and everything. But no, I didn't think that, dude. I was too blindsided by anger at the circumstances, you know. Angry that my fans tried to do something nice for me and they get screwed in the process too. And not just from what I've done, but from like, what the manufacturer did, man. Like it doesn't matter if you're buying a sex doll or not, okay. If you were to buy an electric guitar online and you got that shit shipped to your fucking door, you unboxed that another bitch and you plug it into your amp. You turn on the amp, but guess what? The amp jack doesn't work. You were taking it to a guitar shop somewhere or you'd be sending it back to the person you got it from or persons or company being like, hey look, this is bullshit. And I'm kind of thinking that I thought it would have sent the sex doll back to whoever sent it to me. And they would have sent it back to the company. It would eventually have been made right. But I didn't think that. You know, I didn't think I got mad and I overreacted. And now I've lost two awesome guitars in a beautiful sex doll that had potential. You know, all because I overreacted. And you reach that breaking point in your life where you just, you know, you start realizing that overreacting doesn't get you anywhere. There were sometimes overreacting might help in like a very rare circumstance, but nine times that it's hand overreacting and getting pissed to have to stop anything. Oh, I've been changed smoking pipes and back a little bit to try to keep my stress level down because on top of the fact that shipping handled the sex doll poorly, the fact that the sex doll was poorly made. And then, yeah, everything altogether is just one giant cluster of fuck of why you two why high. And then on top of everything else, the fucking self hatred I have for the mistake I've made, you know, kind of thing. But for what it's worth, you know, it's definitely if you were to get something like that, if you were to get a sex doll and they didn't screw you over on making it or the shipping and you got a legit product, any ordered a familiar to website. That's definitely an option to consider if you have a hard time catching a date or you just having a really long drive spell and you want something to kind of ease the tension of it, you know. And that's what my fans are trying to do. They're trying to help me ease the tension. That's all. They were not trying to screw me over. That was on the company you made it and the shipping, you know. And it was very easy to get blindsided by people who pretend to be your friend and say blah, blah, blah, we can we thank God, da, da, da, da, da. You know, and it's because people who watch me on YouTube have seen me get fucked with so many times that when they see new people enter my life, you know, they're protective, you know. And that's how a lot of people feel about discord at first, but when they legitimately seen that they did this kind of gesture for me, all of a sudden their opinions of discord started changing and that made the haters jealous so lo and behold, you know, they cost him to do what they did. And little did they know that the sex doll was poorly made and that shipping and handling and roughed it up a bit. Little did they know that when they were doing that shit that it played perfectly into trolling me because of the situation I was going through and trying to explain this to everybody when I feel guilty about the whole thing, you know. And it's like vapor said he was able to forgive me for the pocket pussy breaking and but the sex doll being destroyed to pieces that he said was a straw that broke the camel's back and honestly I don't blame him. The fact is even still a fan of mine watching my videos is more than I can save from my character honestly way more than I can save from my character. Everybody the party back goes to suit a quandering mind. Yes, the sales model. I'm not trying to draw attention away from the situation but the struggle of having asked burgers can suck sometimes because I don't always pick up on social cues. So sometimes people control me pretty hard on YouTube and Facebook and get away with it because I don't always pick up on it very quickly and people use after their advantage for their own sick twisted entertainment. And the things they said about me went after I got done talking to him the other day I don't blame them one bit my deserves what they said about me. But you know when they get lied to you about the situation to begin with and then they get told the truth second time it makes it hard for them to believe you. And on top of that if you don't mention everything like bits and pieces of it it makes me look like a really shitty person. Hopefully this is the last retake I had to do with this video four times now I've had to redo this fucking video. And then they get trolls who encourage me to do stupid things. I've had trolls encourage me to set up a go fund me campaign for the sex doll and that's highly inappropriate to do for something like go fund me. And you know I wish I hadn't done it because trolls were just doing that because they wanted to get a laugh. I was laughing at someone's expense like me. And you know when they were trying to do something good for me and it just... I think I needed like an extra tube or something I don't fucking know. All I gotta say is if you're gonna get a sex doll YouTube you gotta shop wisely because you go to a website that's cheap knock off of one other website's product and they're poorly made and they get shipped to you. And like the worst condition possible and they break easy you know and it's unfortunate when it happens but this is the problem with online shopping sometimes is that people take advantage of people you know. And it's disgusting it really is. That's one of the reasons why I was pissed about it when it broke in the first place. And the combination of being pissed off and upset and sad and embarrassed that multiple different situations all at once just bull you know. And people asking people have asked me when I do that to a real girl fuck no fuck no fuck no you know I'm a better than that come on now. I wouldn't be surprised if no one believed me after watching this video and it is what it is. But I've told the truth now I've come clear about the issue. The last video I tried to apologize by adding a little bit of humor by holding up the dolls to some numbered face in a video like some fucking Edgine looking shit and going hey YouTube I know it was eerie but just know I'm here for you and I know that you guys are here for me you know. Kind of thing man. I had fans who supported me on YouTube and they were simple to ask me a lot of time with need and not having any companionship and they were trying to do things to help. And between me just during it and of rage from mixture of emotions and the dog being actually she made all the first place like oh my god no one can physically plan for this kind of emotional fuckery like there is no they they cannot fake something writing a movie about something like this would people would be like. I don't find the story hard to believe in a world where people get screwed over by online shopping wait if you're doing that guys voice you got to do it right in a world where online shoppers are fucked with. If you know different your guitar or a lot more or any other product online and you get to you get the product your door and it doesn't work or those parts missing or it's damaged in the process of shipping it or breaks after you use it like any one of you in my situation. I'm the biggest thing YouTube is when you have that many emotions hitting you at once for the various different reasons that I've mentioned in this video I know what to do I did not know what to fucking do on top of that I have people and fucking Facebook were telling me a whole bunch of fucking lies about Reddit only not read it but excuse me I had a whole bunch of people on Facebook telling me a whole bunch of lies about discord and shit yeah. I was trying to say and it didn't help you know subconsciously whether they realist or not people took advantage of me again in a situation where I didn't know what to fuck to do because of the other circumstances and it made things even worse it just snowballed YouTube and the only thing I can do is explain myself the story and hope that people understand the same degree. Like I know a lot of these things that people are going to say people are going to say that's not the point people are going to say things like that's not the point and I'm well aware of the fact that that's not the point but come on YouTube. I wasn't pissed at the fact that my fans are trying to do something nice for me I was pissed at the fact that they got sold a crappy sex doll that was put together poorly and that it was shipped me in crappy condition like those two things did not help the situation at all you know it made the kind gesture look a little suspect that's all I'm saying but I had to sit here and analyze it bit by bit and this is the conclusion that I've come up with this is the hypothesis how hypothesis that I've developed. And unfortunately this isn't the first time something like this has happened there are plenty of people out there who order stuff online and then something like this happens where the product doesn't work after a couple of uses or the product shows up to their door, or a dead theater broken or some shit you know I'm saying and it's not right YouTube you're paying somebody your harder money either for somebody else for yourself or for yourself dammit doesn't matter because you know you're paying somebody for a product at the end of the fucking day therefore you expect them to deliver that product as you have paid for it. Now if you're paying for a lawn or used lawnmower if you are paying for a used lawnmower yes it's going to have some problems but if you're paying for a brand new lawnmower generally expecting you don't expect it to have problems you know you expect to be able to fill it up and cut your grass right out of the box no issues you know but if you got shipped to something that was brand new that broke on you after you used it you know or had you know like minor damage to it and getting it to your front step you be pissed too don't even try to deny okay you be pissed too. I'll try to explain myself doesn't justify my actions and like I said if I would have explained myself like this when it first happened this way people would people would have been a bit more sympathetic towards me they would have been like well that stinks. You know when I was on Tommy and see 2010 earlier today I will if I mention that but the interview went really good but not even 56 minutes not even 50 fucking 6 minutes after I did the interview with Tommy some mother fucker on YouTube was pretending to be me this account had no video is the person had taken a picture of me online and stole my online online. I was pretending to be me on the comment section sitting there saying oh this video doesn't have me in it it's all live blah blah blah when I myself am reading the comments on the videos 56 minutes after I just got done doing the video holy shit and not only did I confirm that account was fake I also reported that account for being fake. I can't mention that YouTube no longer allows you to block people from your channel you can hide comments from your channel that's about it and you can like videos and that's about it you can't down vote videos and you can't block people from your channel which just like YouTube kind of helping and kind of making things worse at the same time if you ask me. That's a situation and the reason why I deleted the video I made last night is because that video stemmed from all the frustration of the circumstances in which I've mentioned involving that sex that was sent to me that on top of all the trolls saying the things they were saying trying to convince me and for a moment they didn't have me convinced you know and it didn't help that when the situation had happened they were naturally pissed at me but I mistook that anger for what the trolls were saying like the trolls on Facebook that were saying all these people and just were all fake blah blah blah blah and when they were saying the things they were saying about me when I seen that after I left the conversation for a couple hours I believed it but then I had to stop and think for a second like wait a minute what if and this is a big what if hypothetical what if you made a wand for a celebrity and what if a celebrity snapped it right? in front of your face instead fuck you to my face after I made it how would that make me feel and the stop and to think about it for a second if I took the time to make a awesome wand for a celebrity I admired or a celebrity in general and they pulled that shit off and finding me I'd be like that was kind of harsh bro but even then when I make my wand and sell them to people I want to make damn sure I produce a quality product I won't break on you as soon as you fucking ship it to somebody that's why I don't use UPS when I ship my wand I use US postal they do away by your jala handling their packaging and they do worldwide shipping too so that's a convenience or it would be like if you bought a car brand new off the lot and you got like four miles down the road and the car just stops working you be pissed that you waste your money on a car that doesn't work so that has problems you know that was easily an $800 sex doll that was not worth a thousand dollars because when I got that sex doll out of the box there were fingernails missing from the hands the wire skeleton that makes the doll move was poking out of the fingers and they were small chunks taken out of the silicone itself in various areas nowhere to noticeable like you see chunks of silicone taken out of the on the side of the leg and this is all when I got out of the box mind you and I'm like whatever fucking made this needs to go back to molding school and learn how to mold a fucking sex doll right because the finish on the silicone I had distance you know there weren't chunks missing from anywhere major but when you could see like on the inner bottom half of the leg in this general area right here you see like a big patch of silicone that wasn't you know evenly applied or worked out of the box and it didn't look right it didn't look realistic at all and when people are trying to sell you a sex doll their pitch is realistic as fuck you know and how they're gonna legitimately pitch that if the doll the final production of said doll looks like crap and if should be does a horrible job handling the packaging how are they going to say that you know they can they really can but the fact the matter is that even after this whole scenario I still have people who love me and care about me on YouTube and they still watch my videos both fans and friends and that means I have true fans and true friends out there and that's something to never forget YouTube and I mean never ever for gets so much for keeping the video short an hour long that's plenty I've said my piece thanks for watching YouTube if you have not seen the tell me in c20 10 got the king cobra interview definitely got checked out I may tell me laugh as I have soft on the interview and not a not even five minutes after I destroyed my sex doll one of my friends was calling me and they were having a suicidal depression and the thing of it is YouTube is I've been through that kind of depression before so I was doing everything in my power to talk my friend out of it and I actually managed to talk my friend out of it and I know it doesn't justify my actions but it's something at least the sex doll is an awesome option but I'm young enough now and that if I apply the right techniques to fixing my life a little bit that I wouldn't need to get the sex doll I met the right one actually had a job and shit you know and part of the reason why I want the sex doll to begin with is because I have no confidence in myself at all and because of the aspirin as I struggle with trying to find companionship with the opposite sex and shit which most guys struggle with that to some degree anyway but when you're socially awkward to begin with you automatically going to be misunderstood and quite often that paints a very bad picture for you I'm not saying these things justify my actions you know I'm just saying them because it kind of needs to be said you know right now I understand that a lot of people on Discord are still very disappointed in me so I'm not even going to go on myself for a good grip you know I'm going to stay out of Discord for a minute and I'm kind of let things cool off if they do kind of thing you know a lot of people would accuse me of being forced to go on to Discord and the thing if it is is I was never forced never forced to go on to Discord I did that all on my own accord all puns assigned well I've done enough rambling for one video this is King Cobb with JFS with another video thank you for watching catch you all later